Yesterday, I spent seven, yes seven, hours at a class deemed RSA, Responsible Service of Alcohol. Required, by law, of all bartenders and servers, the Australian government deems it necessary that I know the following extremely important pieces of information. In no particular order, these are the only things I remember from my class. $65 and a beautiful certificate to frame on my wall later:
1) There are several indicators that a person may be intoxicated. Some include swaying, slurring, the inability to walk, agressive behavior, and riding garbage bins down the street to get home.
2) If a patron is asked to leave a bar in New South Wales, they are banned from that establishment for 24 hours. They must stay exactly, no less, 50 meters away from the bar at all times. (Exactly how long is 50 meters, I don't know...but it's vital that I know this information.)
3) Of the following drink options, letter c is the only that is not considered a standard drink:
a) middie of full-strength beer
b) scooner of lite beer
c) middie of lite beer
**FYI: scooner is a pint, middie is a 12 oz. What is a standard drink and why do I need to know this? No clue....
4) The 5'4", 12-year-old boy posing as a 6 foot, 22-year old man on Jimmy Kimmel Live is Australia's best example of what not to do when carding minors.
5) Which brings me to my next point...every You Tube video shown in a class promoted by the Australian government to discourage irresponsible use of alcohol involves some sort of drunk American. Every. Single. One.
6) According to my instructor, men in Australia care about three things and three things only: rugby, beer, and sex.
7) 90% of all people who take the RSA class in Australia are, in fact, not able to speak English and only pass the test with the use of a hand-held English dictionary. (Although I must admit my own shortcomings in the use of the following):
sus = suspicious
bin = garbage can
slammer = consecutive row of shots
layback = beer bong or tilting your head back and chugging a beer
drink driving = drunk driving
pissed = extremely wasted; see also "piss"- get wasted or to drink alcohol; "the piss"- booze
in hospital = in the hospital (She was drink driving and her friend is now in hospital.)
8) Going to the bathroom on a police officer is not acceptable behavior while drinking according to the "possible offences" actually listed in the RSA manual. Thanks for writing that down for me. Cuz I wasn't quite sure about that one.
Could I go on? Perhaps. But these are just a few of the many highlights from my wonderful, fun-filled Saturday afternoon.
Thank you, Australia for letting me use all my notes on the written exam. I may not have been able to easily identify some of the possible signs of intoxication without them. I now feel prepared to take on all responsibilities surrounding drinking. After all, we wouldn't want Australians to wind up on any You Tube videos, now would we?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I'm HERE!
Although nothing rivals my 28-hour, man-having-seizures-in-the-seat-next-to-me, same-dirty-bathroom-for-75-people, chickens-clucking bus ride in Peru last summer, I must say that the trip to Australia was, indeed, quite long. The first flight was 14 hrs. and 35 mins. I slept probably a total of 2 hrs. as I was anxious, sad, nervous, excited, and really annoyed at the Korean lady next to me who:
a) thought it was a great idea to do her arm exercises, which required her to lift her smelly armpit in my face over and over, while we were being served our food. As I sat there, not very appetized by her body odor, I wondered if she bothered to note that I was not eating my veggie sandwich because of her repeated arm raises. I'm not sure which was worse...these exercises or the ones that required her to ask the stewardess for a toothpick so she could basically perform acupuncture on every finger and toe, yes toe, on her body while sitting next to me.
b) thought she lost a $50 bill on the floor, coincidentally rummaging through her wildly disorganized bags, throwing papers on the floor, standing up on her seat, making me and the other girl next to her stand up, crawling on the floor...only to later, after 1 hour of madly calculating every receipt from Walmart and Dominick's she had in her bag, realize that she didn't really lose it after all.
and c) thought it a good idea to personally insult me by saying Chicago was a very boring city, one in which she would never want to live because she had lived in exciting New York, only to tell me later that her and her husband were considering buying a place in Des Moines, Iowa because of the low prices...lady, have you ever been to IOWA?!?
Anyhow...the other girl (on the other side of the plane) and I got to talking; her name was Carol and she has been studying at University of North Carolina. Originally from Taiwan, she was going back to visit her family before moving to China to work in her field of international business. We got off the plane in Tokyo and headed to a cafe to talk while waiting--friend number one, made! If I ever make it to China/Taiwan, Carol, I'll be sure to look you up!
After saying goodbye to Carol, I found a place to sit--with another 3 hrs. in my 5 hr. 40 min. layover remaining. At this point, I discovered that I had not only been traveling for close to 18 hrs., but it was also 2 am at home. I became very tired and extremely nervous at the thought of another 10 hr. plane ride.
Luckily, upon entering the plane to Sydney, I realized it was not a full flight and I was able to move up to the bulkhead to have extra leg space and the whole 3-seat section to myself! This meant three seats to spread out, three blankets, three pillows...and no annoying Korean women performing acupuncture or stinky arm raises next to me! After being served a quick vegetarian meal of chickpeas, aspargus, and rice, I settled into a deep sleep and before I knew it I was in Sydney.
The customs line was quite long...but I got lucky and didn't have to have my bags inspected. I was greeted by Mom at the airport and we "queued up" for the taxi. AUSTRALIAN SLANG LESSON ONE: to "queue up" is to get in line...Aussies tend to queue up more than we do, lining up for taxi service at the airport and even to get on the bus in Sydney.
Mom and I were both happy to take the taxi, as the combined weight of my three bags (2 suitcases and carry-on) was about 162 lbs. (The night before I had to go to KMart at 11:30 pm to buy a scale which later resulted in me throwing things out of my bags onto the kitchen floor to put into storage...I have a LOT of stuff!)
Seeing as I got here at 7 am in the morning, I had to try to force myself to stay awake for the day to catch up on the normal sleeping pattern...so Mom and I dropped the luggage off, visited with Scott and Hewitt, had coffee at a cute cafe, and then went for a long walk. Sydney is GORGEOUS...like no other city I've ever seen. The entire city is on a harbor, but there are little inlets everywhere and the houses are all lined up on the inlets, overlooking the water. Everything is accessible by bus or by ferry--the ferries are part of the public transportation system and you can hop on and be across the harbor in 10 minutes! The houses in the area Mom lives, Cremorne, are AMAZING. The AVERAGE home price in the area is 2.4 million dollars...but we are moving July 4th to a new house, as their lease is up.
The house we are staying in now was built in 1916 and has cool arched doorways, gorgeous Oriental rugs, tiled cielings, and a jungle-like backyard. In fact, Sydney's landscapes and horticulture amaze me...there are palm trees and parts that resemble a rainforest. It is also in the 60s and the dead of winter! I can handle this!!!
This morning I went for a run through the city and then Mom and I headed into the business district downtown to set up a bank account and buy toiletries. I spent $70 on shampoo, conditioner, lotion, razors, and shaving cream. It is EXPENSIVE here. I needed barrettes, but refused to buy them, as it costs a whopping $8 for five barrettes. Tomorrow we will check out the local version of Walmart/Kmart to see if we can find better deals!
I'm exhausted, but content. And excited to be here. Thank you all for your supportive emails and messages. I will be in touch soon.
Sign up to be "a follower" of the blog and I think it will send you a message everytime I post!
LOVE YOU ALL! :)
a) thought it was a great idea to do her arm exercises, which required her to lift her smelly armpit in my face over and over, while we were being served our food. As I sat there, not very appetized by her body odor, I wondered if she bothered to note that I was not eating my veggie sandwich because of her repeated arm raises. I'm not sure which was worse...these exercises or the ones that required her to ask the stewardess for a toothpick so she could basically perform acupuncture on every finger and toe, yes toe, on her body while sitting next to me.
b) thought she lost a $50 bill on the floor, coincidentally rummaging through her wildly disorganized bags, throwing papers on the floor, standing up on her seat, making me and the other girl next to her stand up, crawling on the floor...only to later, after 1 hour of madly calculating every receipt from Walmart and Dominick's she had in her bag, realize that she didn't really lose it after all.
and c) thought it a good idea to personally insult me by saying Chicago was a very boring city, one in which she would never want to live because she had lived in exciting New York, only to tell me later that her and her husband were considering buying a place in Des Moines, Iowa because of the low prices...lady, have you ever been to IOWA?!?
Anyhow...the other girl (on the other side of the plane) and I got to talking; her name was Carol and she has been studying at University of North Carolina. Originally from Taiwan, she was going back to visit her family before moving to China to work in her field of international business. We got off the plane in Tokyo and headed to a cafe to talk while waiting--friend number one, made! If I ever make it to China/Taiwan, Carol, I'll be sure to look you up!
After saying goodbye to Carol, I found a place to sit--with another 3 hrs. in my 5 hr. 40 min. layover remaining. At this point, I discovered that I had not only been traveling for close to 18 hrs., but it was also 2 am at home. I became very tired and extremely nervous at the thought of another 10 hr. plane ride.
Luckily, upon entering the plane to Sydney, I realized it was not a full flight and I was able to move up to the bulkhead to have extra leg space and the whole 3-seat section to myself! This meant three seats to spread out, three blankets, three pillows...and no annoying Korean women performing acupuncture or stinky arm raises next to me! After being served a quick vegetarian meal of chickpeas, aspargus, and rice, I settled into a deep sleep and before I knew it I was in Sydney.
The customs line was quite long...but I got lucky and didn't have to have my bags inspected. I was greeted by Mom at the airport and we "queued up" for the taxi. AUSTRALIAN SLANG LESSON ONE: to "queue up" is to get in line...Aussies tend to queue up more than we do, lining up for taxi service at the airport and even to get on the bus in Sydney.
Mom and I were both happy to take the taxi, as the combined weight of my three bags (2 suitcases and carry-on) was about 162 lbs. (The night before I had to go to KMart at 11:30 pm to buy a scale which later resulted in me throwing things out of my bags onto the kitchen floor to put into storage...I have a LOT of stuff!)
Seeing as I got here at 7 am in the morning, I had to try to force myself to stay awake for the day to catch up on the normal sleeping pattern...so Mom and I dropped the luggage off, visited with Scott and Hewitt, had coffee at a cute cafe, and then went for a long walk. Sydney is GORGEOUS...like no other city I've ever seen. The entire city is on a harbor, but there are little inlets everywhere and the houses are all lined up on the inlets, overlooking the water. Everything is accessible by bus or by ferry--the ferries are part of the public transportation system and you can hop on and be across the harbor in 10 minutes! The houses in the area Mom lives, Cremorne, are AMAZING. The AVERAGE home price in the area is 2.4 million dollars...but we are moving July 4th to a new house, as their lease is up.
The house we are staying in now was built in 1916 and has cool arched doorways, gorgeous Oriental rugs, tiled cielings, and a jungle-like backyard. In fact, Sydney's landscapes and horticulture amaze me...there are palm trees and parts that resemble a rainforest. It is also in the 60s and the dead of winter! I can handle this!!!
This morning I went for a run through the city and then Mom and I headed into the business district downtown to set up a bank account and buy toiletries. I spent $70 on shampoo, conditioner, lotion, razors, and shaving cream. It is EXPENSIVE here. I needed barrettes, but refused to buy them, as it costs a whopping $8 for five barrettes. Tomorrow we will check out the local version of Walmart/Kmart to see if we can find better deals!
I'm exhausted, but content. And excited to be here. Thank you all for your supportive emails and messages. I will be in touch soon.
Sign up to be "a follower" of the blog and I think it will send you a message everytime I post!
LOVE YOU ALL! :)
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