What Makes Australia Australia?

Australians may speak English, but there sure are a lot of funny things about this country. People at work may make fun of my accent or the fact that I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but then again, there’s always this…the stuff that makes Australia uniquely its own:

1.The casual “how are you?” that we so often use back home is actually referred to as “how you going?” Excuse me? How am I going? Well, first of all, where am I going? Second of all, how am I getting there? Could be by bus, ferry, train, car. You tell me.

2.In America, the average restaurant hopes that you dine IN their restaurant, with the mentality that once there, you’ll spend more money on drinks, etc. Here, to dine IN actually costs more, causing most Aussies to opt for the take-away method instead. (Note: always referred to as take-away never take out.) In an average diner-like establishment, a meal that you take away is approximately $2 cheaper than a meal that you eat in. The only possible motive that I can provide is that most establishments are BYO, where you can bring your own booze (wine, beer, whatever you choose). There is usually a corkage fee, but the restaurants must think that since they’re not making a profit on alcohol, why go through the hassle of having to serve you when they can just stuff it in a sack. This, however, does not explain the cafés likeminded mentality; how strange that it costs me fifty cents extra just to sit here and have a coffee? It’s not really any more trouble for you to serve me…in fact, it saves plastic and paper that you would use on my take-away container, hence more earth-friendly, which I thought was a bandwagon Aussies claim to support. And wouldn’t you think I’d be more likely to order a second coffee if I sat here and sipped for a while…???

3.Which brings me to point three. Coffee here is AMAZING, but there is no such thing as an endless cup or pot of coffee. Every coffee is handmade especially for you, with heated milk and a beautiful froth on top. Aussies love their coffee and a watered-down pot of Denny’s black just won’t cut it. In fact, there is one Starbucks downtown and most of the time I pass it, it’s completely empty. That coffee does not measure up to the fine Italian espressos that most Aussies prefer. I have, coincidentally, become a coffee snob. And there are a million different names—it’s not just “coffee”, it’s a flat white (coffee with heated milk, no froth), a cappuccino (froth and chocolate on top), a latte (served in a glass mug with no froth), etc. Why do I know the difference? Well because a) I’m becoming slightly addicted to my morning cup of joe (take-away style of course) and b) I actually have to make it at the Oaks! Yes, I have perfected the art of the finest coffee making thanks to a giant espresso machine and several hours of training. My only fear is returning to the States…will I have to invest in an espresso machine and year’s supply of good espresso beans in order to passify this now addictive need for a good flat white?

4.Okay, so what is WITH the clothes here?!?! Seriously…most of the girls dress SUPER cute and VERY fashionable. Especially if you’re down in the CBD, central business district; I don’t feel comfortable unless I’m in a fabulously cute outfit and boots. EVERYONE wears the following: oversized shirt, black leggings, flat boots. EVERYONE. And it’s cute and all, but seriously, it’s getting kind of carbon copy. But I digress…if you stray from the CBD and into the suburbs, you will be quite baffled by the wide array of wardrobe selections. Yes, it’s a big city, so I suppose you see it all...but seriously, FLANNEL SUITS??? Where on earth can you even buy a flannel suit? Not just plaid, but FLANNEL. Not even Paul Bunyan owned a flannel suit. And why is it that on a brisk 50 degree morning, most Aussies can be seen in FLIP FLOPS. Yes, I get that Havaianas are the “in” sandal, but aren’t you FREEZING? How is it that I’m from Chicago, where it blizzards in winter, and yet cannot even BEGIN to think about wearing a flip-flop on this brisk, chilly morning? And the kids…my only explanation for how Aussies can wear flip flops all year is that they start them young…these poor little toddlers on a cold, winters morning in Capri pants and a t-shirt. Aren’t they freezing? Do Aussies have thicker blood??? And finally, the winner of them all…the Asians favorite look, the go-to in their closet: the colored tights under jean shorts with peep-toe high-heeled sandals. WHY, oh WHY? And ladies…don’t even think about wearing anything but a skinny jean. Just don’t even try. Thank God I owned a couple pairs before I came.

5.Yes, to answer the question…they really do use the word “mate”. Some more than others, but it is not uncommon to hear “g’day mate” upon entering a shop or even meeting a friend for coffee. Another of my favorite expressions is “no worries”. It’s used all the time and has rapidly become one of my favorite things to say. And then there’s always their form of thank you—while “thank you” does exist, it is most often cut short at “ta”, an expression I have become quite fond of saying upon exiting a shop or even the bus (it is common to thank bus drivers prior to exiting the buses here!)

6.Asians. They’re EVERYWHERE. They are the US version of Mexicans. Not that I have anything against diversity or the race itself, but I have never, ever seen so many Asians in my life. I mean, geographically speaking, it makes sense. We live near Mexico, we have Mexicans. Australia is close to Asia, they have Asians. But I could never ever imagine the multitude. It is so vast that the white man seems to be a minority, especially in certain areas of the city. However, the large Asian population means one thing: GREAT FOOD. Sushi is amazing and the choices between Thai, Vietnamese, and Japanese are endless. The other day, I ate at my first sushi train restaurant. You sit down at a counter and a moving strip circles in front of you, complete with hundreds of different plates of sushi and choices. The plates are color coded, so you know how much each costs, and there is a description of what the plate entails. You wait until you see something you like, you grab it off the train, and you continue to do so until satisfied…this can be addictive…far better to limit yourself to an amount to spend or a number of plates to consume. The two boys next to me were up to almost thirty plates by the time I left; they kept leaning over and suggesting things to me…I figured after trying that many, they must surely have some idea of what they were talking about!

These are just some of the things I could think of off the top of my head; my promise that there are many more to come! Annoyed as I might get at them making fun of Americans, I have rather enjoyed getting to know the unique complexities of the culture that makes them so different! Looking forward to finding new ones today!