Things You Always Wished You Knew about Alcohol...

Yesterday, I spent seven, yes seven, hours at a class deemed RSA, Responsible Service of Alcohol. Required, by law, of all bartenders and servers, the Australian government deems it necessary that I know the following extremely important pieces of information. In no particular order, these are the only things I remember from my class. $65 and a beautiful certificate to frame on my wall later:

1) There are several indicators that a person may be intoxicated. Some include swaying, slurring, the inability to walk, agressive behavior, and riding garbage bins down the street to get home.

2) If a patron is asked to leave a bar in New South Wales, they are banned from that establishment for 24 hours. They must stay exactly, no less, 50 meters away from the bar at all times. (Exactly how long is 50 meters, I don't know...but it's vital that I know this information.)

3) Of the following drink options, letter c is the only that is not considered a standard drink:
a) middie of full-strength beer
b) scooner of lite beer
c) middie of lite beer
**FYI: scooner is a pint, middie is a 12 oz. What is a standard drink and why do I need to know this? No clue....

4) The 5'4", 12-year-old boy posing as a 6 foot, 22-year old man on Jimmy Kimmel Live is Australia's best example of what not to do when carding minors.

5) Which brings me to my next point...every You Tube video shown in a class promoted by the Australian government to discourage irresponsible use of alcohol involves some sort of drunk American. Every. Single. One.

6) According to my instructor, men in Australia care about three things and three things only: rugby, beer, and sex.

7) 90% of all people who take the RSA class in Australia are, in fact, not able to speak English and only pass the test with the use of a hand-held English dictionary. (Although I must admit my own shortcomings in the use of the following):
sus = suspicious
bin = garbage can
slammer = consecutive row of shots
layback = beer bong or tilting your head back and chugging a beer
drink driving = drunk driving
pissed = extremely wasted; see also "piss"- get wasted or to drink alcohol; "the piss"- booze
in hospital = in the hospital (She was drink driving and her friend is now in hospital.)

8) Going to the bathroom on a police officer is not acceptable behavior while drinking according to the "possible offences" actually listed in the RSA manual. Thanks for writing that down for me. Cuz I wasn't quite sure about that one.


Could I go on? Perhaps. But these are just a few of the many highlights from my wonderful, fun-filled Saturday afternoon.

Thank you, Australia for letting me use all my notes on the written exam. I may not have been able to easily identify some of the possible signs of intoxication without them. I now feel prepared to take on all responsibilities surrounding drinking. After all, we wouldn't want Australians to wind up on any You Tube videos, now would we?